Jeb's Re-Ranking of 2006 in film

I normally don't do this so early, but I've seen quite a few films since the end of the year and I felt it appropriate on the day of the Oscars to re-rank them. I even have a new worst and best choice for 2006. So let's see the rankings for what I think was the best year in film in many years.

29. Saw III: I'll be honest. I never saw the first two. But if they're of similar quality, I'm not missing much.

28. The Marine: I'll be honest, it was kind of funny and enjoyable every now and then. But it screamed "straight-to-cable" not an actual theatrical experience. Of course it was produced by WWE and starred John Cena so I probably shouldn't have expected Lawrence of Arabia.

27. See No Evil: Same as above. It gets ranked higher because our wrestling star actually sort of did a choke slam which broke the tie.

26. Lady in the Water: Certainly looks even worse since I saw Pan's Labyrinth. Shyamalan has jumped the shark. Or maybe he did with The Village. Whatever.

25. Eragon: The fact that this was released nearly three years after LOTR trilogy didn't help its ranking. It looks like it was made ten years previously. I never read the book and you could tell they edited it mercilessly.

24. The Hills Have Eyes: I heard they're making a sequel. Who exactly asked for one?

23. Glory Road: I almost forgot I had seen it.

22. X-Men: The Last Stand: As mediocre as it was, I'm hoping it was the last stand.

21. Jet Li's Fearless: Not really very memorable either. A few cool martial arts scenes. But eh.

20. Hostel: Quite vicious. Pretty interesting but I like my horror more psychological.

19. Superman Returns: I thought this would be better with Bryan Singer at the helm. He did so well with X-Men. I was wrong.

18. Mission Impossible III: I only went to see Philip Seymour Hoffman. I wasn't disappointed with him.

17. Nacho Libre: Cute. Better than Napoleon Dynamite. Why didn't it get more pub?

16. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest: Pretty much ruined Johnny Depp's character. Thanks. Good job. Great visual effects though.

15. Inside Man: It was enjoyable but...if I have trouble remembering it when I compile these rankings, it definitely hurts the score.

14. An Inconvenient Truth: Seems to have rallied the cause to stop global warming. Loses focus at times to talk about Al Gore's personal life. But it was informative and more interesting than you'd think hearing Al Gore give a speech would be.

13. Slither: A fun homage to B movie horror

12. Thank You For Smoking: It's a pretty biting satire at times. But I don't understand when it loses focus and tries to become cute. Did Disney produce this? Did the filmmakers get scared? I dunno.

11. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby: Nowhere as consistently crazy or funny as Anchorman. But it has its moments. Loved all the fun being poked at NASCAR.

10. Snakes on a Plane: Shame it flopped at the box office. Such a ridiculously entertaining movie deserved better.

9. Flags of Our Fathers: Well done film on the soldiers who were captured in photograph putting up the flag on Iwo Jima and what the country did with them for propaganda purposes. But it would have ranked higher if not for the last third which hit us over the head with preachy moral lessons and sentimentality. I honestly felt like I was watching The Wonder Years in the last scene.

8. Babel: At times magnificent (most of the Tokyo story), other times inconsistent and maddening, Babel is this year's love it or hate it film. Since it's better than Crash, it'd be silly not to give it the Best Picture award this year. It doesn't deserve it but it's better than Crash. That's why when you make stupid choices, it makes you look stupid later.

7. Little Miss Sunshine: Seems to be getting some backlash because it could be a dark horse Best Picture winner tonight. In fact, I actually think it has a better chance than Babel now. The backlash is a little unwarranted though. The critics are criticizing it because people like it. And critics like to be in their own special club and like movies that nobody else does to make them feel intelligent. But this is a cute movie. It doesn't belong as a Best Picture nominee but it was probably the best comedy this year.

6. Borat: Cohen should have gotten a nomination for Best Actor. I mean, he did the entire press junket as Borat. WHO IS THAT DEDICATED TO HIS CRAFT? Great mockumentary that throws jokes where you least expect it. Although that nude fight scene still haunts my dreams.

5. The Descent: It's only appropriate that the best year in movies in awhile gives us the best horror in at least a decade. I dare you to watch it at night. I dare you. Loved all the homages to other movies (Apocalypse Now, Deliverance, Predator, Alien, etc.)

4. United 93: When the previews first came, audiences were disgusted saying it was too soon and was exploiting a tragedy to sell tickets. That's why you should wait to see something before you criticize it. A very respectful film showing us the day's events. Although it's not a documentary or even a "mockumentary", it has elements of one. There are no blatant characterizations. The passengers aren't brave action heroes, and the hijackers aren't sneering villains. They're all just people drawn into an extraordinary event in human history. I'll repeat what I said last time. If you're not shivering or a little teary-eyed when the screen goes black, you may not be human.

3. The Departed: It was wonderful to see Scorsese with his best film in over 15 years. I don't think it's the best film of the year (that's why it's third) but among the contenders I hope it wins. Scorsese at least deserves Best Director. If Eminem and Three Six Mafia have Oscars, shouldn't Marty? A great cast although they mostly got snubbed. On a second viewing, the score was outstanding as well with Rolling Stones, a live version of Comfortably Numb, and bagpipes playing Dvorak.

2. Children of Men: If this doesn't win Best Cinematography, something is seriously wrong. We had an attack on people in a car where the camera never cuts and stays inside the car the entire time. But that paled in comparison to the finale where we had Clive Owen in going through the streets and alleys of a warzone without the camera cutting. Bullets fly all around, blood splatters the camera (although it later leaves in what must be a subtle cheat), and explosions kick dirt up everywhere. Really amazing. The parallels to the Nativity Story are fascinating (and in case you don't notice it, they make a joke about the Virgin Birth which is one of the few examples of humor). A dark look into a potentially Fascist future and we leave with no easy answers, but we do leave with a glimmer of hope.

1. El laberinto del fauno: I'm just trying to confuse you. This is the actual title of Pan's Labyrinth. Pan's Labyrinth is the actually incorrect English title (actually means The Faun's Labyrinth but they decided that could be confused with the word fawn so whatever). Pan's Labyrinth is the best film of 2006. Period. And it may be the best film of the decade and one of the greatest fantasies of all time. Its stature has only grown since I saw it and have read more about it. The ending is actually ambiguous to some (not to me. The director even agrees with me but sees how people can find it ambiguous. The opposing view is an interesting argument but all their claims can be countered while evidence for my side cannot be so easily. I may write about it later but I won't spoil until everyone has at least a reasonable chance to see it.). The trials that Ofelia undertakes can be read by some as an allegory of pre-Franco Spain. The visual effects are impressive but understated. The acting is top-notch. Vidal is the most evil war-movie villain since Goeth in Schindler's List. The score is beautiful. As I mentioned before, Mr. Shyamalan may want to take notes to know how to truly engage the audience in a fantasy. I could go on but it's incredibly hard to explain how wonderful this film is. I've done the year-end movie rankings since calendar year 2004 and this is the best movie I've seen in this timeframe. When you get a chance to watch it as I did, I think you'll be emotionally overcome in the final frame as well.